Buddha once said, “Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.” Grudges and negative thoughts will create negative energy within you. When you hold onto a grudge or ill will towards someone, the only person you are hurting is yourself. When you harbor these negative feelings inside you, it can become very damaging to your spirit and all around wellbeing.
Holding negative feelings within you will also begin to attract that equal energy to you. For example: Have you ever met someone who is always complaining and their life seems to be surrounded by drama? You may have noticed that this same person appears to have a long string of “bad luck.” What’s worse, they believe that all of their alleged “bad luck” is what makes them so negative about everything. But the truth is, it’s the other way around. Their constant negative thinking and beliefs are creating this life. They are putting this energy out there and the universe only knows to give them back what it receives.
It’s Newton’s Third Law of Motion in Physics: For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. Meaning, for every force there is a reaction force that is equal in size, but opposite in direction. That is to say that whenever an object pushes another object, it gets pushed back in the opposite direction with equal force.
This is also referred to as Karma. Karma is just energy. It isn’t good or bad. It is just an energy that is received and then given back equally in the opposite direction. What you put out you will get back. We’ve all heard the sayings, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” It’s the same as: “What you do to others, is done unto you” or “What goes around comes around.” These are all variations of Newtons Third Law of Physics.
What many of us lose sight of is, we are a part of nature and physics. We don’t supersede these laws of the how this universe works. The same laws apply to us and our lives. If we jump off a cliff, we won’t suddenly fly; we will fall. Physics tells us that. If we run as fast as we can towards a brick wall, we won’t magically pass through it, because the wall is denser than our bodies and we will probably crack our heads open. These are the laws of physics in our universe.
It is imperative to let go of those negative feelings you have towards someone because you are only hurting yourself and attracting more of the same feelings towards you. So, how can you let go of a grudge or negative feelings that you have been harboring for so long?
Here are Two Powerful Tips That Work
1) Wish Them Light and Love
The concept of wishing light and love to someone who hurt me was tough to understand. For many years, I too harbored terrible feelings towards a man, who physically and verbally abused me. As a survivor of domestic violence, it isn’t easy to forgive the person who had hurt me on so many levels. We have all heard the saying, “Love Thy Enemy.” Well, I struggled with this one for a very long time until I finally got it.
Rationally it made no sense to me to wish someone “light and love” every time they popped in my head. I always had negative thoughts about them and what they had done to me. But, I decided not to listen to the rationale of my intellect, and I chose to go with my heart instead, and something began to change within me.
When I would think about this person negatively, my body would get tense; my heart would start to pound, and tears would flow down my cheeks. I would begin to feel sad and lethargic even though it had been many years since the domestic violence occurred and I was out of this situation. Although I didn’t feel light and love towards this man, I still would stop my thoughts and say, “I wish you light and love.” I then would release the thought of him and get on with my day. Anytime a negative thought popped back up (and in the beginning that could be several times a day) I would do the same of wishing him light and love and releasing the thought of him. Until one day, it became easier for me to do and I noticed, that not only did I feel better, but I thought of him less. I even began to feel forgiveness towards this man. Many people don’t understand how I can forgive a person who hurt me so deeply, but I did not just forgive him for him, I forgave him in order to release myself from the emotional prison that I had been in for so many years. Which leads me to the second tip:
Forgiveness is a wonderful gift to yourself and the other person involved. When you forgive someone, you are releasing yourself from the emotional prison within. Nelson Mandela said it best when they finally released him from being wrongfully imprisoned for 27 years, “As I walked out the door to the gate that would lead me to freedom, I knew that if I didn’t leave my hatred and bitterness behind, I’d still be in prison.”
When you forgive, you are setting yourself free. You are also teaching the other person what it means to be forgiven. Forgiveness is a gift, a lesson, and a teaching moment for everyone involved.
These two steps: Wishing Light & Love and Forgiveness have allowed me to grow into a stronger, happier and more peaceful being.
Let us know what you do to help release your grudges or negative feelings towards someone!
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